A.A.A.D.D…

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:

I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, sort the bills from the junk, put the junk mail in the bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take out my chequebook that is on the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of soda that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the soda aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the soda is getting warm and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the soda, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye – they need to be watered. I set the soda down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flower's but most of it spills on the floor. I set the remote back down onto the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm bottle of soda sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one cheque in my chequebook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Author: Unknown
Issue 271 - December 2002